I Only Wanted To Look At You

Where the stars seemed so near
And the city still sounds busy but still looked as pretty
Where the breeze felt warm and comforting
And everything felt as if it’s the best

We sat there
The breeze kept on stirring my hair
I kept on pulling the strands out of my face
so that I could see the scenery
So that I could see you.

On top of the roof, you sat there with me.
We were happy.

You said,
“Hey, this is nice. Let’s hang out here again, okay?”

As I turn my face to give you an answer,
My eyes closed to take a blink
My eyes opened and I saw my room’s ceiling.

I thought,
“I should get up and get ready for work.”

Image

17th of September, Year 2006

I have held and done what you constantly wanted
The scars from my mouth barely make sense
Sure enough you have taken so much for granted
But what you have deceived has made me a mess

I guess I sought everything for my own joy and tragedy
Screaming and weeping all those feelings of woe
As my heart tears apart as it beats so much faster
I fell and crashed on what unto you I never owed

But I still here am, trying but it’s never enough
Frustration that is myself; the agony is portrayed with blood
Again, the moment is slow, again, it freezes
And you did not know; But now, six years had long stopped.

The Study of Two Hearts

What do I do when I open up to you?
Wished every motion would last without an adieu
Read every thought we wanted to do
This lovely secret only you and I truly knew

One simple wish I’d die to ask
Your smile, if can, may ever last
Just that one instant, wasn’t it too fast?
Then kissed beloved goodbye was a must

Let’s take the opportunity of this one dance
Speak underneath those steps and towards your glance
On each and every minute, I try to seize the chance
Show you how much I adore the joy of staying in this glorious stance

And take away those doubts of leaving you
That is my lone promise to you I’d keep
Life only felt as if it was alive is when I’m with you,
The most precious and dearly loved truth with me as I sleep

I’ll hold you by the warmth of my small fainted arms
I will carry the heaviness of you, never to be alarmed
Shower each breath with the splendour of our bliss
This was one part I’d rather die than to miss

The Mist

I’d like to know where you are but I’m afraid I don’t exist anymore.
So I’d like to know if you still see me existing.
I hope you come back. I hope you come back.
I hope you come back, help me breathe.
Or is it that I’m hoping that I should be the one to come back?
But why should I when there is nothing but nothing to come back to?
Will you see me?
And if I am not breathing anymore,
Will you still see me?
Do I even deserve to breathe?
Gasping, I am still breathing after all, or am I not?
I am probably dead. I am probably dead.
But I hope you still see me.
That is all I have left.

The Ballad Of Tom Waits

These are the wretched times I didn’t knew why
My tears fell before a bottle of whisky and yet they never grew dry
Each of my presence maybe you’d like to deny
I was damn worried but I hated to ask you why

Days passed I didn’t felt something to satisfy what it feels
It gets more lonely every time than it seems
Everything’s changed from the last time we’ve been
It took me the pluck to do it but I was after all waiting for nothing

Maybe, I thought, just maybe, maybe
But the all the beers that swig my throat weren’t enough to please me
Perhaps, I thought it was best for me to leave and let you be
Only know that I had better wishes for you than you never had for me

These are the days when nothing meant everything when I cry
I tried to forget, smoke a stooge and just give myself a sigh
I am worried but I hated to ask you why
I was just too damn scared that maybe you’d tell me a lie

(Aiko©)